Surprised?
by Ed-Wood
Summary: Benny and Joon! It's set a few months after the film, and mostly centred on Sam, Ruthy and Joon sorry Benny fans ....who are we kidding? You are all SAM and Johnny Depp FANS! Thanks.
1. The Set Up

*** **I wrote this story back in 2003/4, (its now 2010) and I've only just revisisted it after all these years (I think my writing style has changed a little since then! lol)  
I've only just realised that:  
1. the formatting looked atrocious (due to various changes to the fanfic website) - so I've hopefully fixed that up now.  
2. there's now an actual Benny and Joon section! So that is where this story will live from now on!

So, hopefully format-wise it'll be a bit more easier on the eye! Everything else is left as it was.

So thanks for your time fellow fanfictioners!  
Happy reading! :-)

* * *

[Benny And Joon] This is supposed to be set a couple of months later (after the film)

NB - Uh, this is my first ever attempt to write a fan fiction, please be kind! If I suck heaps."Well, my next one will be better!"

Oh yeah, I don't own Benny And Joon yadda yadda yadda, but I sure wish I owned Sam! - but don't we all?! Thanks!

* * *

**Surprised?  
**  
All was just peachy with the two happy couples. Joon was better than she has been in a long time, spending her days at the park, painting (professionally), or at Ruthy's diner. Sam of course, is still working at the local video store, even maintaining a record of six consecutive wins of employee of the month, thanks to his encyclopedic knowledge of film. Together they live in contented bliss in the apartment just up the hall from Ruthy's; ironing cheese sandwiches together, Joon concocting her, delicious smoothies, and Sam - cleaning everything in the house until you could see your face in if it wasn't shiny to begin with. Meanwhile, Benny and Ruthy were beginning to get really serious, although Ruthy still lived in the apartment down the hall, and Benny decided to hang onto the house. The two couples were perfectly happy and content, or so it was thought.

"Hey Ruthy!" called out Sam as he went out front to help her with her groceries. Sam was looking wonderful as usual. Unkempt chestnut locks framed his handsome face, his dark soulful eyes were almost childlike in their sweetness. In his attire, he looked as though he had just leaped out of an old Buster Keaton silent film, except on his way out, he had managed to swipe Charlie Chaplin's cane.

"Hi Sam! How are you and Joon? " she asked, as he relieved her of the many grocery bags.

"Oh, I'm fine" he replied with a pleasant smile, as his knees buckled comically from the weight of the bags. "Oh, ah Joon's kinda busy at the moment, some people are interested in her paintings. Great huh? Oh, um - " he lowered his voice, as if afraid someone was listening in on their conversation -"it's you-know-what next week. Are you still up to it?".

"Oh my goodness, I almost forgot!" They quickly got the bags inside. "So whose apartment are we using?" Ruthy asked, as Sam helped her put the groceries away. He removed his hat and scratched his head as if in deep thought "I, um, yours?" Ruthy checked her calendar "Sounds good to me. We just have to make sure Joon doesn't find out!" Sam nodded in solemn agreement.  
Ruthy looked at him with a twinkle in her eye "Yes, this will be just our little secret."


	2. Close One!

Hi again,. Isn't Johnny Depp just THE BEST *sighs dreamily. Of course I don't own Benny or Joon, although I wish I owned Sam!!!! :( *Oh, a special thanks to Lip Balm and Dramachick1 who took the time to review my story. Thanks heaps! NB - In my first chapter, sometimes I had those 3 full stops - you know. . . but it looks like only one in random places (thanks to freaky fanfiction formatting), just letting you know my grammar isn't quite THAT awful!

* * *

Sam woke up to the familiar humming of the blender. Yawning softly, Sam gazed over at the Frank Capra calendar hanging from the brightly painted wall opposite him. Only six days to go. . .he smiled as he pulled on his suspenders. He grabbed his hat and cane and wandered into the kitchen.  
"Hey Sam, today's breakfast consists of preserves of the apricot variety, corn flakes, and milk. Drink up! I can't let you leave without a good solid breakfast!" Joon smiled sweetly as she greeted Sam. Her hair shone brilliantly in the morning sun. Sam gulped down Joon's newest concoction. "Mmmmm" Sam smiled approvingly. "I thought I might go to the park today to paint, would you like to meet up during your lunch break and maybe have a picnic?" Joon inquired. Sam scraped through his brain for a good excuse "Gosh, I'm sorry Joon, I have to work through my lunch break today - " Sam held his hat in his hands and gazed sorrowfully at the floor. _I hate lying to Joon like this. _Joon could clearly see Sam looked upset. _Boy, he must like picnics more than I thought..._  
Joon tenderly stroked Sam's cheek. "It's okay Sam, maybe another time."

* * *

Sam carefully - almost lovingly, examined the cover of the video "Oh, Swing Time is a wonderful choice miss! Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers are the way to go!" Before leaving, the woman turned back to Sam. "Oh Sam, would you know, uh -" the woman's face scrunched up in deep concentration "what movie has that famous line. . .ah, I am big - " "it's the picture's that got small?" Sam responded in his best Gloria Swanson voice. "Oh, Sunset Boulevard, 1950." "Oh, thank you so much Sam! See ya!" Sam waved back shyly. The woman beamed with content as she left the shop. It was exactly 12 o'clock when the door opened with a chime, and in walked Ruthy, looking very pretty in her waitress uniform. "Listen Sam, I've only got a short break, business is really buzzing today! So we'll have to make it quick. I hope you don't mind".  
Sam smiled reassuringly. "Oh it won't take long, just you know, in and out before the end of lunch".

Meanwhile back home, Joon realized she was running dangerously low on paint. Usually, she was supposed to call either Benny or Sam to get any supplies she needed, but Benny was out of town for the week, and Joon didn't wish to interrupt Sam at work today - as he seemed kind of upset, and plus, he said he'd be really busy. Joon pulled on a clean sun dress and calmly began to make her way outside. '_Poor Sam! I wonder why he seemed this morning? It couldn't really be about lunch, it must be something else' _Joon pondered thoughtfully as she strolled downtown.  
These thoughts also helped to prevent Joon from doing . Like the time she tried to direct traffic with ping pong paddles, while wearing a snorkel mask she had got in a poker game. Just as Joon was about to set foot in the craft shop, she thought she caught a glimpse of Sam and Ruthy walking together on the opposite side of the street. _No, couldn't be, Sam said he had to work through his break...  
_  
She looked again, and they were gone. '_Oh well, there goes my mind'_ Joon thought pleasantly as she entered the shop.

"Gosh, that was close!" Sam mouthed to Ruthy. Sam's heart was pounding. He couldn't stand the thought of Joon thinking he had lied to , he had.. sort of, but it is for her own good.

* * *

Later that night, Sam and Joon watched Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho". They were up to the famous 'shower scene'. Joon glanced affectionately towards Sam, as he, with eyes wide open, made frantic stabbing motions in the air, shrieking in a high pitched voice, "Ahhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" While Marion Crane's blood was oozing down the drain, Joon casually mentioned her trip downtown. "Hey Sam, I had to go into town today to get some paint. Can you believe it, I thought I saw you and Ruthy! Imagine that! But it couldn't have been, because you were stuck in the video shop all day, and that's on the other side of town!" Sam spun cautiously around to face her "Really? Wow, maybe I have a twin! I wonder which one of us is the evil one?" he started to laugh softly, now pulling a crazy face and pretending he had a chain saw. Joon smiled back, although she could feel something pestering her deep down, she decided to let it go.  
_Don't worry, stop overreacting, it's nothing, really..._


	3. Tapioca

OH MY GOSH!!!! You would NOT believe it! As I was writing this Benny And Joon fan fiction - The Proclaimers "I'll be (500 miles)" just came on the radio!! It's like a sign or something! OK, this chapter is a bit boring, but PLEASE stick with it, (hopefully) it will get better . . . honest! - Also, a special thank you to all those people who have take the time to read my dodgy story - AND review it. PLEASE - Keep it up! THANKS again. Now, on with the story . . .

* * *

"Ruthy, you know, we've got to be more careful. I thinks she's starting to suspect something! I mean yesterday and all, that was really close!" Sam nervously bit his lip, and started to fiddle with his hat.

Ruthy placed her cup of tea on the glass coffee table and looked at Sam, gazing deeply into his eyes. "Sam sweetie, it'll be all right. I bet she didn't even taken any real notice of us. Even if you were supposed to be at work, she'd probably assume you were just relieved on short notice."  
Ruthy paused to place a comforting hand on Sam's lap. "So calm down, relax. She won't know . . . until it's too late!" Ruthy said with a mischievously coy grin. Sam immediately brightened. He placed his hat firmly on his head, gave a small nod, and bent over to pick up his cane. "Thank you Ruthy, I think I feel a little better now. Uh, would you mind if we met up again a little later?" Sam inquired hopefully. "Of course I wouldn't mind!" Ruthy replied playfully with a small wink.

Joon poked her head out the door, just as she heard Sam leaving Ruthy's apartment. _'Hmmm, he's been spending a lot of time with Ruthy lately' _Joon thought quietly to herself. _'Well, she's our friend, and Benny's partner in itemhood. So why does it feel so strange..._' Joon's current train of thought was broken as Sam came in to view.  
Joon leaped backward into their apartment and immediately went back to concocting her breakfast smoothy.

"Oh, uh, hi Joon! I didn't know you were up!" Sam tossed his hat onto a rung on the hat stand, and eased onto the kitchen stool. He picked up the two shiny silver spoons sitting next to him, and started to perform a clanging rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on the breakfast glasses.  
For some unknown reason, this morning, Joon just couldn't bear to tolerate Sam's . . . 'music' - no matter how sweet or whimsical it was.  
She immediately seized the offending spoons from Sam's grasp. Sam's face fell. _'It's never bothered her before, hmmm. Was I out of tune?'  
_Sam quietly excused himself and trudged towards the bedroom, shoulders slightly slumped, feeling a little hurt. Joon instantly felt guilty. _'What is the matter with me? _she thought helplessly.

Meanwhile upstairs, Sam sat on the edge of the dresser, staring at his small photograph of Buster Keaton. _'What should I do Buster? You would know what to do. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. I hate lying to Joon - but I've just got to see Ruthy!_'  
Dozens of thoughts and emotions were swimming wildly around Sam's head, causing him to topple off the edge - literally. "Ouch!" Rubbing his knee tenderly, Sam limped amusingly towards the door and shut it gently, not wishing to annoy Joon any further.

* * *

Sam was determined to see Ruthy. Later that night, while Joon was painting in the other room, Sam crept quietly to the refrigerator. Once there, he inspected its contents. Staring back at him were three gigantic tubs of tapioca. Sam gulped uneasily at the sight. With shaking hands, he picked up the tubs and placed them on the table. Sam sat down and stared at the massive tubs with determination.  
_'This is kinda drastic, but at least I'll have a reason to see Ruthy. Hmmm, just think - it's kinda like in 'Cool Hand Luke', when Paul Newman's gotta eat all those eggs . . . Except it's tapioca' _Sam thought, in an attempt to reassure himself. Sam put on a brave face, as he courageously picked up the spoon and began to gulp down the mammoth tubs of tapioca.

* * *

After the final mouthful, Sam thought he would explode - "Monty Python's: The Meaning of Life" style!  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" Sam groaned softly. Sam slid from the kitchen chair and stumbled out into the living room to watch a Chaplin short - hoping it would take his mind off his . . . er, slight stomach ache.

After allowing about 20 mins for the tapioca to go down, Sam knocked on the door of Joon's art room - as she liked her privacy when painting, and told her "Joon, we're out of tapioca".  
Joon spun around to face Sam and frowned with confusion. "No we're not. There's three huge tubs in the fridge!" Sam looked away sheepishly. Exasperated, Joon got up and stalked towards the kitchen. "I could have sworn there was! What happened to them?"  
Sam, once again stared to fiddle with his hat. "Oh, er . . . I don't know." Joon could not believe it, she was positive there were three tubs - gigantic ones! '_There goes my mind again, I guess'_. All this talk of tapioca was making Joon a little peckish.  
"Say, how about I go get some more?" Sam suggested as he grabbed his cane and dashed outside before Joon could say anything. Once outside the building, Sam rushed over to the bushes and . . . (you- know-what). Feeling slightly better, but looking like a smashed rummy, Sam made his way down to Ruthy's diner.

Just as Ruthy was locking up, Sam stumbled into view. "What on earth happened to you?!" came Ruthy's alarmed voice, racing over to Sam's aid. "Tapioca" Sam replied weakly.  
"Well come on Sam, we better go back to my place" . . .


	4. The Evil Daisy!

Disclaimer: My friend said your supposed to have one of these for EVERY chapter . . . oops! OK so, I don't own Benny and Joon - But I soooo wish I owned Sam!

On another subject - well, so far I've got *counts fingers - 6 reviews. Come on guys! How 'bout enough to count on fingers AND toes?! Savvy? *Provocatively waves Sam's hat around in face of potential reviewers - wink- wink-knudge-knudge! OK, I know there isn't much point to this chapter (plot wise), but I well . . . felt like it. This is SUPPOSSED to be just a cutsie, feel-good type thing, getting ready for the . . . PG chapter!!! *Evil laugh . . . chokes. Anyway, on with the (so called) story!

* * *

Joon rolled over to see Sam lying next to her - upside down. In the morning sun, Sam looked so sweet and peaceful, it seemed a shame to wake him up. _'I don't remember hearing him come in' _Joon thought to herself. _'Now stop that! This is SAM you're talking about' _she silently reasoned.  
Sam stirred quietly, murmuring something about "no more wire hangers!" Joon carefully slid out of bed, and pulled out her secret collection of charcoal drawings she had been making of Sam since they had first met. Joon lovingly sketched the contours of Sam's handsome face, perfectly recreating his distinctive features - those beautiful, dark eyes; his shoulder-length tresses - all with painstaking accuracy.

Sam groaned softly, rolling over to face Joon, who had by now, replaced the drawings safely back in their secret spot. Sam gave a tiny smile as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes. "Good morning Sam" Joon greeted "I didn't hear you come in last night". Sam still wasn't feeling too good. "Hmmm?" came the sleepy reply.  
"No matter" Joon responded as she hopped up and went out to the kitchen. Sam flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. _'Hmmm, what did I get up to last night? I feel all sore . . . Ummm . . . tapioca . . . Ruthy . . . Ruthy's place . . .' _Sam paused. "_Oh dear! I couldn't have done that, I wouldn't go THAT far . . . or would I?_' Sam could not believe it. It just wasn't possible . . . but he HAD done it. OH GOD! What would Joon think if she knew?!

Sam was sure glad it was his day off today, he would be able to take Joon to the park, and hopefully, take Joon's mind off anything . . . slightly suspicious.

* * *

Sam tied his neckerchief in a loose bow and grabbed his coat. As Sam slowly wandered out into the kitchen, he could hear Joon talking softly to herself. Sam knew it was best not to answer or interrupt, so after silently grabbing a sandwich from the counter, spun around and made his way to the bathroom. While Sam was sitting in the bath, happily eating his peanut butter and banana sandwich, Joon knocked on the door.

"So, did you want to have a picnic while we're at the park today, or did you want to go to Ruthy's diner?" Sam knew it might be a little risky . . . as well as suspicious to see Ruthy again, so soon . . . well, only suspicious if Joon actually suspected anything . . . "Ah, a picnic would be nice" Sam quickly answered. Better to be safe . . .

* * *

As Sam and Joon strolled around the park, Sam noticed a pretty bunch of daisies growing just ahead. Sam made a _how-'bout-I-pick-you-some-nice-daisies?_ gesture. Joon nodded shyly in acceptance. Sam placed his hat on Joon's head, and made his way towards the bush. Staring at the flowers intently, Sam lent his cane against a tree, rolled up his sleeves and bent over to pick one - but the damn flower wouldn't budge! Sam scratched his head with confusion, frowning at the evil daisy. Determined, he once again attempted to pick the flower - this time he grabbed it with both hands, dug his feet into the grass and tugged comically. Joon watched in amusement as Sam repeatedly attempted to extract the flower.

* * *

10 mins later, Sam decided to make a final attempt before getting Joon to burn the stupid bush. Dramatically wiping the sweat of his forehead, he pulled with all his might. The flower seemed to extend for almost a metre! Sam was smiling broadly with satisfaction - until he realized the daisies were actually somehow attached to the park's watering system. _'Oh dear' _was Sam's last thought before the system's water came back on - drenching poor Sam from head to toe. Sam turned sheepishly towards Joon, shrugged '_well - what- can- you-do_?'

Exhausted, Sam handed Joon the single daisy he had managed to remove - causing Joon to start giggling uncontrollably. As Sam trotted back over to the tree to collect his cane, he slipped on the water soaked grass and somersaulted over a bush. Sam shook his head like a wet dog and attempted to stand up - but not before poking his head over the bush. Only just noticing the small group of park go-ers who had wandered over. Seizing the opportune moment, Sam leaped up and started to perform a few of his favourite Buster Keaton routines - just as he did after he first met Benny and  
Joon. Ah, those were good times.

* * *

On their way back home, Joon looked over at Sam adoringly, wondering how on earth she could ever be suspicious of someone so sweet? Someone like Sam? Joon knew Sam would NEVER do anything even remotely wrong, or to hurt her in any way. Joon held her hand near Sam's, their fingers slowly becoming entwined. They both turned and gazed into each other's eyes . . . and smiled.

* * *

Um, I don't know if that WAS a cute widdle feel-good chapter or not. Well, I tried. It's kinda hard to capture Sam's slapstick abilities, so review please - and be kind. Thanks all! Oh, and a special thanks to Lady Aragorn for her kind words and inspiration for this chapter!


	5. Behind Closed Doors : aka The evil PG13...

Disclaimer - I don't own Benny & Joon yadda-yadda-yadda -

*sigh, wish I owned Sam - or at the very least - his hat! (Seriously - how cool is it?!)

OK - this is it - the chapter you will ALL hate me for! lol But remember - it's all in the name of plot . . . honest!

NB: This is the hardest chapter I had to write - you'll see why . . .eep!

* * *

Joon was in a much better mood after the previous day's shenanigans at the park. At breakfast, she even returned Sam's spoons to play his music.  
Sam beamed happily as he started to play the theme song from "Singin' In The Rain" on the nearby breakfast glasses. Sam had noticed Joon's change in mood and decided that it might be a little easier to see Ruthy now Joon's mind was taken away from any suspicious thoughts.

"Joon, I've got to work an extra shift tonight. Edward said he had to visit his mother. . . uh, who lives out of town, so he won't be back in time."  
"OK" Joon replied, smiling back. Sam still hated the lying to her, but at least she wasn't giving him the evil eye to make him feel worse. "Do you wanna get some tapioca and ice cream at Ruthy's before you go to work?" Joon asked. Sam thought about this for a moment. _'Well, I guess it should be all right. It might look a little strange if I keep avoiding Ruthy'_. Sam looked up and nodded his head in agreement.

* * *

The diner was buzzing with customers during the lunch time rush. "Hello Joon. Sam" Ruthy greeted delightedly. Joon waved, while Sam merely nodded in acknowledgment - his attempt at looking discrete. Ruthy ushered them to their usual spot and pulled out a pencil from behind her ear.  
"So let-me-guess" Ruthy screwed her face into an expression of feigned concentration. "Tapioca for Joon - hold the raisins - "  
The very word 'tapioca' caused Sam to recoil uneasily and turn slightly green " - and an ice cream sundae for Sam?" Ruthy asked. Joon clapped her hands and laughed "Wow Ruthy, how'd you guess?" Ruthy gave them a playful smile before going around the back.

When Ruthy returned with their order, Ruthy quickly whispered something in Sam's ear while Joon was facing the other way - assuming she wouldn't notice. Sam gave a small nod. Unknown to Sam and Ruthy, Joon had heard a single word - "tonight".

What could this mean - and why was Ruthy whispering to Sam? Joon decided to let it go . . . for now.

Watching Joon eating her tapioca gave Sam the urge to puke into his hat, but he fought it off. _'I don't think I'll ever be able to look at tapioca the same way ever again' _Sam thought miserably.

As Sam and Joon were leaving the diner, Sam gave Ruthy a final knowing glance before closing the door behind him.

* * *

Sam and Joon were sitting together watching Billy Wilder's "Some Like It Hot". Sam quoting every single line along with the film may annoy some - but not Joon. After all, Sam's Marilyn Monroe impression was a sight to behold! They were at the part where Jack Lemmon's character (who's in drag) tells Tony Curtis (who's also in drag) he's getting married -

**Jack Lemmon**: I'm engaged!

**Tony Curtis**: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?

**Jack**: I am. (He sings and vigorously shakes maracas.)

Joon turned to see Sam wildly shaking his imaginary maracas. Joon shook her head with amusement. "What time did you say you had to be at work?" Joon inquired. Sam immediately stopped shaking his maracas and pulled out his pocket watch. "Oh, uh . . . right about now!" Sam leapt out of the chair and dashed out the door. A few seconds later, ran into the apartment again - backwards, grabbed is hat, cane and coat - waved, and continued forward again.

Joon sighed and started to giggle. She stopped the video - knowing Sam wouldn't like to miss a minute - even though he had seen it God-knows-how-many-times. Joon decided to go do some painting for a while. After all - she liked her privacy when painting.

* * *

After spending a few hours painting, Joon was feeling a little lonely. _'Hmmm, I wonder if Ruthy's home?_' Joon silently considered. _'Maybe I might go pay her a little visit. It's been a while since we've had a proper chat'_. Joon stood up and placed her paintbrush in a jar of water, and made her way to the bedroom for a clean change of clothes. Feeling refreshed, she grabbed her jacket and closed the door, not bothering to lock it - as she was only going down the hall.

* * *

As Joon approached Ruthy's apartment, she could faintly hear soft whispers, murmurs. Joon cautiously put her ear against the door and was shocked to hear what sounded like Sam!

"OH, do you want me to pull it out? I mean, do you want to see it?" Joon heard Sam ask. "Oh yes Sam, go right ahead. I've been waiting all week  
for this!" There was a slight pause, next Joon could hear Ruthy's gasp of amazement. "Oh Sam!" Ruthy crooned 'Goodness, it's magnificent! Something you should be very proud of!" Another pause.

Joon wondered what they were talking about. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but well . . . she had a right - Sam had lied to her!

"It's bigger than you described" Ruthy continued. "I don't know if it'll fit!" "Well, it's got to!" Sam replied desperately. "I guess we could try - but it would be a tight squeeze" Ruthy answered. Joon gasped softly. 'NO! This could NOT be what it sounded like. NO WAY! Sam and Ruthy?! Was that even possible to consider?!

"So Sam, how big is it exactly then?" Ruthy inquired "Um, I think, ah, about 9 inches - give or take" Sam answered, somewhat casually. Joon couldn't hear what happened next, but as far as Joon was concerned - she didn't need to . . .

"You know, we have to make our visits a little shorter, I really think Joon might be starting to suspect something" Sam told Ruthy.  
"Well, it'll be all right. It'll be out in the open soon, and you'll have nothing to be worried about" Ruthy assured him. Joon could hear items being shuffled around.

Shocked, Joon ran back to the apartment, tears beginning to well in her eyes. She raced into the bathroom and locked the door - not wishing to face Sam. Joon stared deeply into the bathroom mirror, attempting to calm herself. _'OK, don't jump to conclusions, you know, maybe, it just SOUNDED bad . . . REALLY bad. Yes, that's it . . . no it's not. Maybe, he doesn't love me anymore!_' Tears began to stream down her face. Joon turned on the shower, hoping the sound of running water would disguise her devastated sobs, and hopefully wash away her immense sadness.

After her shower, Joon reasoned calmly, knowing what she had to do. She would play detective to find out, once and for all - what on EARTH  
was happening!


	6. Joon the private dick : can you dig it?

Disclaimer - Um, just refer to previous chapters. Wow, almost 20 reviews! Thanks everyone - even the .er, constructive criticisms - sorry, I'll try to do better . "You've got to do better Gilbert." Oh, and I'll try not to write-lots-of-words-with-dashes too! Well - maybe a few . . . *laughs evilly!

* * *

By the time Sam poked his head in the bedroom door, Joon appeared to be asleep. _'Aww, my sweet Joon. You look so beautiful, just lying be careful not to wake her_!' Sam thought as he gazed at her with quiet admiration. Sam quickly crept to the wardrobe to change into his pajamas, and slipped quietly into bed. Just as Sam was drifting off to sleep . . .

"Ouch!" Sam cried out softly, rubbing his head. Joon's arm remained motionless on top of Sam's head. _'Hmmm, I wonder what that girl's dreaming about' _Sam pondered thoughtfully. Sam carefully placed Joon's arm back by her side. He then gently laid his head back on the soft, inviting pillow. About 20mins later, Joon once again whacked Sam over the head. "Ow! This is getting to be just like in Buster Keaton's "My Wife's Relations" - when he keeps whacking his wife in the next bed. Maybe THAT'S what she's dreaming about. Sam decided better not chance it and decided to sleep on the couch.  
Joon slipped a quick peak at Sam as he sleepily trudged towards the couch. _'Hmmm, serves him right_!' Joon thought with a triumphant grin. _'I'm gonna get to the bottom of this tomorrow_!' . . .

* * *

Sam attempted to stifle a yawn as he stretched. He spun his legs down from the upper region of the couch and shuffled downstairs. Joon looked up at him as she was making a "special" breakfast smoothie for Sam - milk, raw eggs, sardines, hot sauce, and strawberry yogurt (for flavour). She smiled pleasantly at Sam, handing him the stinky concoction. Sam gulped uneasily at the sight of the freakish beverage. "Um, hi Joon, what's in today's breakfast?" Sam inquired - slightly afraid of the answer. "Oh, it's a surprise!" Joon replied mischievously. Sam braced himself as he attempted to swallow the "special" smoothie down. _'OH MY GOD! I think I'm gonna be sick - again_!' Sam winced but put on a brave, happy face.  
"Mmmn" Sam managed to murmur, nodding his head wildly as if it were the greatest drink on earth. Joon beamed back and replied "Oh, well you better drink up Sam, or you'll be late for work". Sam glanced up at the clock. Ah ha! An escape!

Placing the glass on a coaster, Sam quickly spun around towards the bedroom. "Well? Drink up!" Sam stopped dead in his tracks, and spun back  
to face Joon. "Uh, I'll finish drinking it . . . uh, as soon as I get dressed!" Sam threw Joon a quick smile before dashing out of the room as quick as  
possible. While Sam was in the shower whistling "The Charleston" he began to seriously ponder over Joon's peculiar behavior this morning. Also  
wondering _'did I taste strawberry flavored fish in that drink?!_' All of a sudden -  
"Oooh! Cold-cold-cold!!" It was as if the shower had turned to ice! Sam leapt out of the shower and into Joon's fuzzy pink angora bathrobe.  
Ahhh! - Soft cozy warmness!

Meanwhile, Joon finally relented and turned off the hot water tap in the kitchen. _'I wonder whether he has to work any "extra shifts" today' _Joon wondered sarcastically. _'Bet he's planning to see his precious Ruthy. Why does she need Sam anyway? She's got Benny. Sam's mine!' _Joon started murmuring softly to herself.  
As Sam came in to view, Joon stopped immediately. "Uh, I said I'd do another extra shift today, so I'll see you later, OK?" Sam informed her. Joon simply looked up at Sam and quirked an eyebrow. Deciding to change the subject - "Have a nice shower?" Joon asked innocently. Sam looked back at her and nodded weakly. Worried he might spark off anything else, Sam placed his hat on his head and dashed out the door.

* * *

At lunch time, Joon once again decided to make her way down town. As Joon strolled down the street, she noticed strange looks from the people around her. _'What?! Haven't they ever seen a girl in a trench coat - and a fake mustache before? Everyone knows, if you're going to investigate  
someone, you should wear a disguise!'_ Joon shook her head in sad disbelief. God, some people were naïve!

Joon observed Sam's video shop from a safe distance. Right on time, Sam left the shop for his lunch break. Joon continued to trail Sam until they were  
in front of Ruthy's diner. _'What a surprise_!' Joon thought bitterly. Joon watched in amazement, as Sam went straight past the front door! Joon paused. Where is he going?! Allowing a few seconds to pass, Joon resumed her trailing. She crouched behind a bin. He was going in the back way.

Why is he going that way for? Sam knocked on the door three times, and started to fiddle with his hat nervously. Ruthy met him at the door, both of them anxiously glanced around before she ushered him inside . . .

* * *

Ah yes, it's all falling into place . . .

Thanks again to those who took the time to review!

Oh, did you all catch the less-than-subtle Ed Wood reference?


	7. The Visit

Disclaimer - refer to previous chapters

Hi everyone! Thanks HEAPS to all the kind/wonderful/awesome people

who:

1 - Took the time to read my story; and

2 - Actually reviewed it! YAY! I love reading reviews - especially when they're for me!!!!

Ah, Johnny's the best! *Sigh. Don't you think they should have called the movie "SAM" because no one I know actually cares about Benny . . . or  
Joon.

* * *

"Hi Ruthy! Well, I made it" Sam greeted, somewhat nervously. "Sam, there's been a change of plans, I think we should go to my apartment  
instead. OK?" Sam bobbed his head in agreement. Sam spun around and held the door open for Ruthy, who grabbed her coat and smiled back thanks Sam!" Sam gentlemanly tipped his hat in response.

* * *

Meanwhile, Joon carefully peeked over the garbage bin lid. BANG! Whoops-a-daisy! "What was that?!" Joon heard Sam ask.  
"Probably just a stray cat" Ruthy replied. Shrugging, Sam closed the door, and held up his arm, which Ruthy linked with hers. Joon could vaguely hear Sam whistling "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz." Joon silently leaped up, adjusted her mustache, and began trailing once more.

* * *

Joon watched jealously as the man she loved followed Ruthy into her apartment. _'My goodness, he follows her around like a happy little puppy dog_!_ But he's MY happy little puppy dog damn-it!_' Joon thought bitterly.

After the two were safely inside, Joon snuck behind a tree. She was still too far away to hear what was going on inside, but she could see a slight  
silhouette through the curtains. She crouched on the ground and watched for a while. _What are they doing_? Joon thought tensely. Unfortunately, her  
question was soon to be answered. From what she could see, Ruthy and Sam where getting a little TOO close to one another. Oh my God! Joon  
whispered softly in disbelief. Joon quickly tiptoed to Ruthy's front door in an attempt to hear what was going on inside. Through the loud clanging  
noises, all Joon could make out was "quick Sam" and "trousers off". Holy crap! Joon REALLY couldn't believe her ears this time! Maybe it's about time I paid Ruthy a little visit . . .

* * *

Amongst the rustling inside the apartment, Ruthy and Sam stopped dead at the sound of three little knocks on the door. Ruthy cleared her voice "Um,  
who is it?" she called out. "It's me, Joon".  
Holy crap-on-a-cracker! Sam and Ruthy looked at each other with panic. "Ah, I'll just be a minute" Ruthy replied. Sam looked as if he were about to faint. He looked around frantically. "What-do-I-do?!" Sam whispered frantically whilst beginning to hyperventilate.  
"Quick, grab your pants!" Ruthy mouthed. Sam rapidly nodded, grabbed his trousers and rushed into her broom cupboard . At the same time Ruthy fixed her hair, and opened the door.

"Why hello Joon!" Ruthy greeted. "Hi" Joon replied back. "Mind if I come in?" Before Ruthy could answer Joon stepped over the threshold.  
"Ah, what can I do for you?" Ruthy asked, puzzled. "Oh, I don't know. I guess I was lonely. Thought I'd come over for a chat, woman to woman." Joon replied in a syrupy voice. The two chattered for the next hour.

* * *

Sam had never been so afraid in his life! He couldn't believe the coincidence of timing - how Joon happened to drop in, at exactly the same time HE had. Sam was getting a little tired from standing up for so long - and bored. He had already silently recited the entire script of Mr. Deeds Goes To Town. '_Hmmm . . . Gosh, I hope Joon leaves soon, this cupboard is getting a little on the hot side'_. Sam lent against the door, straining to hear what was going on.  
Unfortunately, he leaned a little TOO far. The door had not been properly shut, and out fell Sam - who was still . . . trouser-less.  
Oh dear.

Joon gaped over in horror. Although she had known he was here, just visualizing him - and without any pants was just TOO much for her. She leapt out of her chair, scowled at Ruthy and stormed over towards Sam.

"Uh, hi Joon! It's not what you think . . . really!" Sam managed to stammer. Joon just glared furiously into Sam's eyes, "Why?!" she demanded loudly.  
_SLAP!!!! _Before giving him the world's largest bitch-slap! Even Ruthy winced. Joon rushed out of the apartment before Sam could answer. Sam attempted to chase after her, to no avail.  
Just as Sam reached the apartment door Joon slammed it in his face. Sam just stared at the door sadly, not even noticing the old lady across the hall staring at him. Sam knew he better let Joon calm down a little before trying to talk to her again, but he was incredibly worried what she might do . . .

* * *

Joon searched for a photograph of Sam, but could only find one - a recent one taken at the park only a few weeks ago. Joon stared at the photo intently. _'What is wrong with me - besides being ever so slightly mentally ill? _Angry tears had already started teeming down her face. Joon purposefully paced towards the hot plate in the kitchen and held the photograph over it, until Sam's face began to bubble, and a hole formed where the man she  
loved once was.  
Nonchalantly, she tossed the burning photo to the ground . . .

* * *

There you go - cliffhanger - at least I hope it sounded like one. I really appreciate reviews - so go on, press that little purple button!

- waves Sam's cane in front of potential viewers - wink-wink.


	8. Light My Fire!

Disclaimer: Same as all the other chapters blah blah blah

Another gigantic thank you to those wonderful people who take the time to read and review my story. Ah, the drama, (well hopefully it has some).

Hmmm, on with the story.

* * *

Sam turned slowly, and trudged back to Ruthy's apartment to retrieve his trousers. _'Gee, I hope Joon will be able to forgive me, it wasn't supposed  
to happen like this' _Sam thought sorrowfully. Ruthy looked up from her couch as Sam entered the doorway, his shoulders slumped, his heart on  
the floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Sam" Ruthy said quietly, patting Sam on the shoulder. Sam went to the tiny cupboard where he had been hiding for the last hour  
and pulled on his trousers. "Joon . . . she won't understand!" Sam said softly, looking as if he were close to tears. Ruthy had never felt so rotten in her life - it was her fault, two of her best friends were in so much pain.

"Sam, you should go right over there and try to explain everything." Sam just shook his head "It's no use, I don't think she'll listen". Ruthy pondered for a moment "well, no matter what, you better go over there, when she gets . . . agitated, who knows what he might do!" Sam's usually doe-like eyes widened in horror. Sam dashed back towards their apartment without bothering to pick up his cane. As Sam approached the door. He immediately sensed something was wrong. Sam retreated a few metres and barged the door open. The apartment was slowly filling with a  
light grey smoke. 'OH NO, JOON!'

Sam pulled his shirt collar up, so it covered his mouth and nose. Sam courageously made his way through the growing blanket of smoke to find Joon. Sam threw open the door to Joon's art room, where Joon was sitting on the ground, rocking wildly back and forth while murmuring softly to herself. She was facing the opposite direction and didn't hear Sam come in.

"Joon?" Sam cried out panic stricken, ripping the shirt from his face. Joon immediately spun around to face Sam, she glared at him with eyes full of hurt and hatred. Sam gazed apologetically at her, but Joon didn't care. "Leave me alone!" Joon screamed at him.

Sam attempted to look calm, even though their apartment was filling with smoke. "Joon" he started, taking his hat off as he slowly inched towards her. "Uh, do you think we could maybe talk about this outside, where it's not so smoky? Please?" Sam stared intently at her. Joon stood up on slightly wobbly legs and began gesturing wildly as she spoke "What is there to talk about? I saw you . . . with Ruthy . . . WITH NO PANTS ON!!!! - " Joon paused to cough "I've seen you, all week trying to see Ruthy! You lied about - " before Joon could finish her sentence, she collapsed. Sam rushed over to her crumpled body, keeling to pick her up. Sam was beginning to feel a little light-headed, but managed to carry Joon outside. Ruthy looked out of her door "Call the fire brigade - and an ambulance" Sam cried out to Ruthy. She nodded, and rushed to her phone. Sam kicked the front door open and laid Joon on the soft grass out front of their apartment block. Sam gently brushed the hair out of Joon's eyes and began to sob. 'Please be all right, please!' Sam silently prayed.

* * *

When the ambulance arrived, Joon was placed on a stretcher and moved into the ambulance. Sam followed sorrowfully, and sat beside her, holding  
her hand. Sam murmured in an inaudible whisper "I'm so sorry Joon. I love you".

* * *

Sorry, this one was only a short chapter - probably better for you poor readers, ay? Hope it was all right. I think there are only a few chapters left now . . . *sob - All will be revealed!


	9. The Crazed Prom Queen Mutilator

Disclaimer: Do I REALLY have to write one for EVERY chapter?

For anyone who is still (for some reason) reading this story and actually cares what's happening, sorry for taking so loooong! Whew, all this evil homework really takes up a lot of time. Oh my gosh - I just saw Once Upon A Time In Mexico today, it was sooooo awesome! How damn hot was he?! - Even when his eyes were . . . err . . . drilled out (mega ouchyness!). Lets face it, he still looked damn good! *sigh* ( Once again, thank you to those who have read and reviewed my story!

* * *

Sam stared at the ambulance with tears welling in his eyes as it pulled away from the driveway. Sam felt that it was all his fault that this had happened in the first place. He didn't know what he would do if Joon . . . if she . . . Sam refused to even think about it. '_No, she'll ... she'll be all right...I hope'.  
_  
Sam leaned back against a large oak tree, sinking slowly to the ground in sorrowful depression. He couldn't hold back the tears any longer. And for a while, Sam just sat there, his face buried in his folded arms - until Ruthy slowly and cautiously made her way across the lawn towards him. Ruthy didn't want to crowd him, and figured Sam probably didn't want to see her as it was, in her opinion, all her fault Joon was in hospital. "Sam" Ruthy called out softly, "Sam?" Sam rubbed his eyes and looked up at her, "Come on, I'll drive you to the hospital. Would you like that?" She held out her hand, which Sam hesitantly took. Sam dusted off his trousers and Ruthy handed him his hat and cane. He gave a small, weak smile as he graciously accepted them. As they trudged languidly to Ruthy's car, she tenderly placed a reassuring arm around Sam's shoulder. Sam looked at her "What if she  
doesn't want to see us? See me?" Sam asked with a trembling voice.  
"Well, we'll get in there somehow. . ."

* * *

Sam followed Ruthy as she flung open the doors to the hospital and approached the receptionist with a determined glint in her eye. "We're  
here to see Juniper Pearl. What room is she in?" The woman looked up at Ruthy and inquired "family or friends?" "Friends" Ruthy replied.  
The woman pulled out a clip board and skimmed over it quickly. "I'm sorry, family only". With that, she turned away and went back to what she had been doing. Sam turned to Ruthy, biting his lip anxiously, mouthing 'what-do-we-do-now?' "But I've GOT to see her, I . . . I have to explain - "  
"I'm sorry" the woman responded coldly, cutting off Sam mid-sentence "there is nothing I can do". Sam and Ruthy exchanged knowing glances, nodding secretively.

In a sudden rage, Ruthy slammed her hand on the desk "Listen lady" she began in a bearly restrained voice "just tell us what room she's in, all right?!" Before the woman could answer, Sam began talking crazily to himself "He was mine, HE WAS MINE!!!!" Sam melodramatically whipped his head around wildly "NO!" he answered shaking his head "Cindy you're sick, Cindy you need help" The woman backed slowly out of her chair and dashed to the phone located on the back wall. Taking the opportune moment, Ruthy grabbed the clip board and scanned it hastily before the woman turned around. "No Cindy . . . AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Sam screamed at the top of his lungs as he mimed stabbing himself in an insane frenzy. Ruthy turned and winked at Sam, who immediately stopped.  
"What the?! Are you all right young man?" the woman asked, frowning slightly. "Mmm hmm" Sam replied innocently. The woman just stood there in shock as Sam gentlemanly tipped his hat, and left the hospital arm in arm with Ruthy.

* * *

Once outside, Sam and Ruthy strolled nonchalantly down the stairs and moved towards a gigantic tree. Gesturing towards the roots, they sat down to discuss their line of action. Ruthy shook her head "Why couldn't they have taken Joon to the hospital where Benny's friend works? Would have been a lot easier." Sam nodded in agreement.

"You're never going to let me live that whole Prom Queen Mutilator thing down, are you?" Ruthy laughed. Sam grinned sheepishly. "So, uh . . what room is she in?" Sam inquired as Ruthy checked her watch. "186. I think it might be the one up there" Ruthy pointed to the room on the top floor next to the tree they were sitting on. Sam craned his neck upward. "Aw, it'll a piece of cake! Carrot I hope. Mmm..."  
Ruthy gently took Sam's hand in hers and gazed deeply into his eyes. "Sam, I really am so terribly sorry about all this. It is all my - " Sam held a finger to her lips before she could utter another word. "Please don't. It isn't your fault Ruthy. Really." Sam replied softly, smiling sadly. Ruthy nodded, feeling a little relieved that Sam didn't hate her. Now she only had to confront Joon . . . All in due time.

"Come on, we better get back soon if we . . . if, you, are to do this thing. You better have a quick bite down at the diner first, then you'll be ready" Ruthy said, wiping her eyes a little. Sam gingerly got up from the ground, and together they once more made their way to Ruthy's car.  
Just as he was about to get in the car, Sam turned once more to glance back at the hospital.

'I'll be back soon Joon, you'll see . . . "

* * *

Oooh ahhh the polt thickens, all will be revealed . . . On a random note - how fantastically slendiferous is Big Fish, and Once Upon A Time In Mexico?! Love it!!!! *Sigh*

Oh my gosh! They just announced the Oscars . . . and Johnny didn't win. The academy only care about artsy fartsy films - OK, not really, because the awesome Lord of the Rings just won 11 awards, but still . . . it would have been heaps cool of Johnny could've won. But there is no doubt he will receive many more Oscar nods in the future!


	10. Mind if I borrow your tree?

Hey everyone! How awesome is the Pirates Of The Caribbean dvd?! Did everyone catch the spiffy Benny and Joon reference on the deleted scenes? "pity about the French, totally obsessed with raisins - humiliated grapes really . . . " - how damn cute is that?! *sorry, that was probably HIGHLY misquoted, but hey - you all know what I mean . . .right? . . . *sigh* Less than ONE week till Secret Window - I'm sooo excited!!! All the exams are over for now - and I can FINALLY do some (dodgy) writing. Massive thanks to the kind people who bother to read AND REVIEW (wink-wink-knudge-knudge) my story!! Jack cookies to all of you! Sorry for yammering on for so long, on with the story.

Disclaimer: You all know, that NO ONE in all of fanfictionland ACTUALLY owns ANY of the cool characters . . . or anything mentioned. Because if we did- why would we hang out here? When you could hang out with Sam, Captain Jack, or Agent Sands *me-ow!) (

* * *

The plan was simple.

"Are you sure you want to stay there, I mean, wouldn't it be easier to just. . . I don't know, go near midnight or something?" Ruthy inquired skeptically. "No" Sam shook his head, glancing up from his macaroni cheese "I want to be with Joon, to stay by her side - even if she doesn't know I'm there." Ruthy understood completely, and was overwhelmed by Sam's loyalty and devotion to Joon. "OK then. Well, we better get things organised". Sam gulped down the rest of the macaroni and helped Ruthy clear up.

A few hours later, armed with a backpack and some cookies for good measure, Sam quietly got out of Ruthy's car, bid her farewell, and crept softly towards some bushes outside the hospital where his beloved Joon was. Hearing a noise, Sam leapt behind a bush. A few seconds later, he peeked over the top. Left, right . . . left again. OK, the coast was clear.

Rising cautiously, Sam snuck over to the large oak tree. Sam glanced up. Whew, that's what I call a tree! Hope no-one minds if I borrow it for a while . . . Sam smiled suddenly, remembering one of the very first things Joon had said to him when they first met - "your out of your tree" she had stated. Sam had simply shrugged, replying "It's not my tree". _Ah, my sweet Joon . . . whoa! Snap out of it! You've got things to do!_ Sam silently told himself. Now, the tree . . .

Sam rolled up his sleeves dramatically, and spat into his hands, and rubbed them together. About a minute later, Sam was near the top of the tree, comfortably perched on a branch which was right outside Joon's window. Of course, he wouldn't cross the branch which connected to her window until she was asleep. After all, she was pretty mad at him . . . but he couldn't actually remember why. Oh yes, the sight of him without trousers . . . in Ruthy's cupboard may have possibly given Joon the wrong idea . . . Did it really look THAT bad? Hmmm, actually, it probably did.  
What was that thing she had said right before . . . tears started to well in his eyes again . . . she collapsed? Sam scraped his brain . . . now he remembered - "I've seen you, all week trying to see Ruthy! You lied about - " Sam felt overwrought with guilt. The sheer weight of it would have been enough to drag any man down. But not Sam. Not today. Because, well . . . he was going to make things better - the way they had been before any of this mess began. Sam gave a small nod - for personal assurance.

Sam dutifully sat in the tree, waiting for the light to turn off in Joon's room. It was about 9:00pm. Sam was blanketed by the pitch blackness of night. The night air was laced with a slight chill, and was completely silent except for the barely audible chorus of crickets chirping away below him. Sam stifled a yawn, just as the soft light in the room went out - oh, here we go. She usually took only half an hour before she would fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

Joon couldn't help but think of Sam. Her sweet, charming little Sam - THE BASTARD!!!

No, even though she had caught him with Ruthy - with NO PANTS on . . . she just couldn't bring herself to hate him. Well, not yet anyway. But oh - she could. All in due time. She knew she wasn't being paranoid this time. She had seen him, with her own two eyes - numerous times when he was supposed to be "at work". '_Yeah, likely' _Joon thought bitterly. She wondered what he was doing now. Probably with his DARLING Ruthy, sipping martinis and watching "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof", well this fiesty feline would like to scratch Ruthy's eyes out - _when I get my hands on her...  
_  
How could Sam do this? I mean REALLY? He has never seemed attracted to Ruthy, or anyone else for that matter before. . . But Joon knew, you bet she did, it was because she was crazy. ISN'T IT! Poor crazy Joon, the loony-tune! '_Well, I can't blame him, Ruthy is very pretty - especially when she's not working' _Joon considered resentfully. Joon attempted to shove these thoughts from her mind as she gradually drifted off . . .

* * *

Sam pulled out a flash light from his backpack, shining it on his pocket watch. It's probably been long enough. Sam tossed the light back in his bag, and pulled out his present. Deciding it would be easier to leave the bag, he started to inch towards the connecting branch to Joon's window. But wait. How was he supposed to climb across a branch AND carry his present instantaneously? Sam pulled back from the edge and pondered. Scratching his head . . . HEAD - that's it!!

Slowly he began to move across the branch again, but with a SLIGHT modification. The present now sat on top of his head - with is hat propped on top of the present! Sam couldn't even conceive what a funny site he must have looked, he was too busy concentrating NOT falling from a tree branch several metres from the ground. '_Oh boy' _Sam thought silently_, 'what have I got myself into?_' Tiny beads of perspiration began to form on his brow.

Finally, after 5 agonizing minutes - it was over. There was a slight gap between the two curtains in front of Joon's window, which allowed Sam to peek through. Sam's heart warmed as he gazed at her, sleeping so peacefully. He stole but only an moment, before laying down his gift, and climbing back across the branch. The plan was simply to leave the gift and hope Joon responds. But Sam decided to deviate slightly from the original plan.  
He really did want to stay be her side, but realised he had better leave before morning came - as he was fairly certain, the hospital wouldn't approve of strange people hanging outside patients rooms. Plus, the nurse who would open the window might get a bit of a fright if she found him there. Anyway, he couldn't face Joon, not yet . . .

* * *

Hi fellow fanfictioners - thanks for reading, and don't hesitate in clicking that little purple button - you know you want to . . .

Thanks again everyone! OUATIM kicks ass! - I finally saw El Mariachi too, that and Desperado were awesome!!! You should really check them out if you haven't already!


	11. Attack of the killer chipmunk!

Hey everyone! Hope you all had a nice Easter! Oh my Christ! I just got Charlie Chaplin's "City Lights" and "The Circus" - they are two of the most incredibly splendiferous, fantastical movies I have EVER seen!!! After 5 years of wanting to see these films - I finally have them! Yay - Jack cookies and martinis all around - on the house.

13/4/04 *NEWS FLASH - I just saw Secret Window yesterday - Oh my golly gosh, it was sooooo awesome! The twist was really neat. Can I ask everyone's opinion on something? At the end, Johnny actually combs his hair and changes his glasses from thick(ish) plastic to wire frames. Am I the only one who thought he looked WWAAYY hotter with the whole disheveled, unkempt look? And looked better with his original glasses? Hmmmm . . . .*Sigh* I loved that movie, I really need to see it again!

Sorry about that, but I was too excited!

Disclaimer - We all know I DON'T own Sam, all though I may one day *sigh* (well, I can dream can't I?)

OK, well here comes chapter 11 . . .

* * *

Sam had ended up getting quite snuggled up and almost comfortable on the rough branch of the gigantic oak tree. He had been dreaming of Joon's sunny smile and her breakfast smoothies, so when he woke up, he was not pleased to be interrupted of such sweet images. Sam twitched his nose and stretched his arms out lazily. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep. Sam sleepily dug his hand in his pocket for his pocket watch. After rummaging about a for a minute, panic set in. Where was it? Sam's eyes flicked open and found his answer. The first evidence of daylight had set in, which allowed Sam to see what he was face to face with -

"CHIPMUNK!!!" Sam cried out, clamping his hand over his mouth immediately. An evil chipmunk, who had his filthy little paws on his pocket watch! Chipmunks . . . Sam shuddered. Chipmunks equaled bad. He had had some . . . bad experiences with chipmunks in the past, and this little critter wasn't helping.

Calming himself, Sam slowly reached his hand over to the chipmunk. "C'mon little guy, give Sam back his pocket watch" Sam called softly in a sing-  
song voice. The chipmunk simply crinkled his nose at him and scampered away in the opposite direction. '_No-no-no!_' Sam pleaded silently. Sighing, Sam fixed his hat firmly on his head and pulled on his backpack, making chase to the nasty little chipmunk. Higher and higher he climbed, faster and faster. When Sam was finally once again face to face with the chipmunk, he struck an idea. He reached up and pulled out a cookie from under his hat. The chipmunk stopped and stared. "Yeah, you like cookies, don't you little fella". Sam leant over offering the tempting cookie. The chipmunk scrambled over and started to take the cookie. Sam cleared his throat, glaring at the chipmunk. The chipmunk looked up and dropped the watch back in Sam's hand  
before snatching the cookie and scurrying away.

Sam sighed with relief. _'Whew, that was a close one' _he thought with a smile. That smile, soon left, as Sam heard a distinct cracking of wood. '_Oh boy' _Sam thought as he fell a very long way down back to earth. "!"

Sam thanked his lucky stars that the gardener had gone a little overboard with the hosing, which had made the ground nice and soft - and incredibly muddy. "Ouch ouch". Sam cried out as he gingerly got up. 'Good, my legs still work. That's always a plus'. Unfortunately, Sam was not out of the clear yet. The racket that he had made had drawn the attention of hospital security. "Hey you!" a guard yelled across the lawn from the door.  
'_OK, this is probably my cue to exit - stage left_!' Sam shoved the watch back in his pocket and dashed comically towards the fence, leaping over it in a single bound.

* * *

Joon woke with a start. '_What on earth is happening out there?!' _Joon thought irritably. Sighing, she sat up and swung her legs around to the side of the bed, throwing the covers off and padded over to the window, wiping the sleep from her eyes. Joon pulled apart the two curtains to see what was - hey, what is this? Eyeing a small box with a large red ribbon on her window sill, Joon carefully opened her window and cautiously picked the parcel up. Joon inspected the mysterious parcel thoughtfully as she sat back down on her bed. Shrugging, she pulled the red ribbon slowly. The top of the box popped open to reveal a jack-in-the-box, which Joon then proceeded to extract from the box. Now in clear view, she inspected her present. It looked just like the one Sam had given her that day she had kicked him out for cleaning the house - of all things. Joon chuckled, then paused. No, it  
was going to take a LOT more than cute do-dads to make Joon forgive him. _'But, I guess it wouldn't hurt to wind it up just once' _she thought playfully.

Holding the jack-in-the-box firmly with her left hand, cranking with the right, she grinned as box tinkled the "Pop Goes The Weasel" song, then POP! The lid popped opened to reveal the cute, brightly coloured jester inside - but something was different . . . there was a small note sticky taped to the little jester's hand. Frowning, Joon ripped the note from it's hand and opened it. Joon gave a soft gasp, and her icy demeanor began to thaw a immediately. The note said:

"PLEZE CUM TO THE PARKE AT 2 PM" and was composed in Sam's unique childish scrawl. Joon knew that Sam only wrote when absolutely necessary, and when he did - it was usually for a pretty good reason. Joon glanced at the clock, _'boy, it's only 6am_!' Joon yawned and settled back in her bed. She would be allowed to leave in a few hours, better get a little rest before . . . Joon had already drifted back into a deep sleep, but she still held the tiny note safely in her hand. A small smile creased her face as she began to dream of . . . Sam.

* * *

After losing the security guard, Sam had decided to go for a brief walk through the park. Sam wished he had his cane right about now, as his legs seemed to be doing their own thing, causing him to sway uneasily as he moved - plus, with the mud drying on his clothes - it was getting a little hard to move. He had left his cane with Ruthy, thinking he wouldn't need it in the tree. Sam shook his head - never again.  
Sighing, he hoped that Joon would come at 2 o'clock. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't. He had wanted to write the note himself, instead of Ruthy. It would have been considerably easier to read if Ruthy HAD wrote the note, but it wouldn't have been as . . . personal. Sam wanted to let Joon know, that he was sincere and really did want to make things better.

Sam tipped his hat as two early morning joggers ran by. Sam wondered why they looked at him funny. Oh well. By the time he reached Ruthy's diner, Sam was in dire need of some breakfast - he had given his only snack to the evil little chipmunk. Ruthy was just wiping over the tables before going home - and before the majority of customers would come in for breakfast. Sam flung open the doors to the diner exhaustedly. Ruthy paused, looking Sam up and down.  
"Ah, what happened to you?" Ruthy asked, trying to hide an amused smile.  
"Chipmunk" Sam replied with a shudder.  
Ruthy quirked a confused eyebrow. Sam staggered over to the table before collapsing onto a nearby stool. Ruthy rushed over, a concerned expression on her face. Sam lifted his head from the table, "Fear... Fear... Utter fear. Chipmunks! Chipmunks scare me. That's all I'm going to say." Ruthy nodded sympethetically and handed Sam his cane, which he gratefully took.  
"I'll go get you some breakfast. All right?" Sam nodded. When Sam could hear Ruthy rattling things in the kitchen, Sam quickly gave his cane a quick hug "I'll never go anywhere without you EVER AGAIN" Sam whispered.  
"Did you say something?" Ruthy called out. "Nope" Sam called back. Clearing his throat, he leant his cane beside his chair. Ruthy came out with a with a bowl of Captain Crunch, and some paper towels. "Ah . . .so, how did it go?" Ruthy inquired. Sam simply gave a weary thumbs up. Just as Sam was about to eat a spoonful of cereal, Ruthy grabbed his face, turned it towards her, and wiped it carefully with the paper towels.  
"That's a little better. You looked like you were having an Al Jolsen moment there" Ruthy said with a laugh. "The front of your clothes are a little . . . uh, dirty. I'll see if there is something out back we can put you in for now" Sam just smiled.

Half an hour later, Ruthy drove them home, Sam was wearing an large old potato sack with holes in the sides for arms. Ruthy shrugged "It's all I had, unless you wanted to wear my pink waitress uniform home" Sam thought about this for a moment . . .

* * *

Well, there you go. Golly, I think there is only a couple of chapters left. I'll be sad, I've had great fun writing this. What could I do next? I'd like to stick to Johnny movies, but I don't know which one to do. There are way too many POTC one's - and what I mean by that is, I'd never be able to measure up to some of the great stories that are already out there. Plus, I like to fill Johnny fan fiction niches - like Benny and Joon. So if anyone has any ideas, please tell me - because I'm unoriginal and very indecisive - sometimes I have to ask my friends what flavor juice I should have for lunch. Yes - I am THAT bad. So go ahead, make my day - *gestures towards the little purple button* reviews are great - especially when they are for me. Thanks again for reading!


	12. Sam's lucky hat

Disclaimer - Unfortunately I do not own Sam, "Benny and Joon" or Buster Keaton's hat.

Oh, thanks for all the suggestions for stories everyone! Hmmm, I don't know, I'm kinda leaning towards Don Juan at the moment - only because there is a very short supply out there, and I love the movie! *sigh* wouldn't mind owning Don Juan, especially when he looks suspiciously like Johnny Depp! lol.

OK, this chapter I realise is kinda draggy, it was a real pain in the ass to write. Hmm, I decided to pull a "Kill Bill" (kick-ass movie!! QT - you're the best!) and split it so I can stretch this story for all it's worth - and because I'm too impatient to think of the rest right now. Alrighty - so please forgive me for screwing the story up! Hope you don't hate it too much!

* * *

Once they had gotten back to the apartment, Sam had decided he wanted to be alone for a few hours. It was lucky that not all that much had actually been burnt by the fire - mostly just some items in Joon's art room. It was surprising, considering the amount of smoke which had been present at the time. Sam thanked his lucky stars. He decided to take a bath so he wouldn't look like a mud monster, and also, so he could ponder over what was to happen at 2 o'clock. Would it be filled with awkward silences, would it resemble a grand epic showdown - spaghetti western style? More importantly - would Joon forgive him, and would he be allowed to explain his side of the story?

These questions swam wildly around in Sam's head as he sat in the frothy bath, with an expression of deep thought etched on his face. '_Well, I guess I should at least try and look presentable for Joon - maybe even wear my spiffy new spats! Fred Astaire wore spats. Everyone likes Fred Astaire!'_  
Sam held his breath as he submerged beneath the frothy bath water. Sam was afraid of taking a shower at the moment - with a cranky Joon on the loose - who may decide to swing by the apartment early, Sam was slightly afraid Joon may pull a "Psycho" on him. Sam knew Joon wasn't THAT cranky . . . but still, a bath seemed a less scary option at the moment. Drawing a breath, Sam stole a glance at the bathroom clock. _Hmmm, better get ready soon, there was a LOT to do before 2 o'clock._Sam rose from the bath and wrapped a towel around himself as he padded towards the bedroom, leaving a trail of watery footprints behind him.  
Sifting though his closet, he found the perfect outfit to wear. Actually, it was pretty much what he usually DID wear - except for one thing - the hat. This was Sam's most treasured possession. One genuine hat which was once worn by the great Buster Keaton himself! Sam only wore this on VERY special occasions, or when he needed a little luck. He didn't dare wear it as his everyday hat - as after watching several films had become a great believer in Murphy's Law - if something can go wrong - it will. After all, there are a LOT of birds out there . . . Sam didn't know what he would do if ANYTHING ever happened to this hat. His grandfather had been a prop and costume guy on some of Keaton's early shorts, like "The High Sign", and had decided to keep the hat as a memento. Sam gazed lovingly at the hat - if anything would give him luck today - it was this hat. It was like it was blessed!

So once Sam was dressed to kill, and dashed down stairs to the kitchen. Sam started madly making sandwiches - peanut butter and banana, honey and asparagus, etc. Once Sam was done with the sandwiches, he grabbed some appetizing fruit and some drinks and placed them carefully into a large cane basket. Sam paused. He was forgetting something. A light bulb went off in his head. He skidded over to the linen press and pulled out a shabby old blanket which faintly reeked of moth balls. Sam reeled back slightly, pulling a face.  
'Gee, probably should have aired it first' he realized. "OK" he started out loud as he paced back and forth "we've got food, drinks, a blanket . . .is that it?" Sam pondered silently for a moment _'Hmmm, I know! I'll get her some flowers on the way, but NOT daisies' _he thought with a grin.  
Satisfied, he grabbed the basket, and his cane and strolled outside. Ruthy was standing by her door. Together, arm-in-arm, they left in the hope of making peace with Joon...or at least something like it...

* * *

At around noon, Joon was released from the hospital with a clear bill of health. This would give Joon a few hours to consider what was to come.  
Did Sam honestly think she would forgive him just like that? Simply forget all that she had witnessed over the past week? My God, that little monkey better have a jolly good excuse, or he would be in for a nasty surprise! Joon shook her head, trying to keep it clear of all these powerful emotions and thoughts. '_Calm yourself down Juniper, give Sam a chance. You never know - he might just surprise you' _the tiny voice in her head reasoned. "You're right, maybe SOMEHOW all the things I've seen all week could just be . . .um . . .I don't know, YOU'RE supposed to be the SMART ONE!" Passers-by stopped and stared in her direction. "What?! Haven't you ever seen someone talk to themselves before?!" Joon roared. The passers-by all gulped, and moved at a slightly quicker pace than before.  
Now, where was I? Ah yes . . .Sam. '_What am I going to do?_' Joon thought desperately as she sat on an old bench. Joon knew she shouldn't be the one moping around - although . . . if Sam and Ruthy WERE "together" . . . yep, he SHOULD be the mopey one after all. Joon wasn't actually sure whether she truly believed Sam could ever care for anyone the way he did for Joon. She knew deep down . . . '_no, you DON'T know deep down - if you DID - you would have already made up'_ the voice nagged.  
"I'm so confused" Joon cried out softly.

* * *

"What kind of flowers do you think she would like?" Sam asked Ruthy thoughtfully "There's so many to chose from!" Ruthy frowned "I remember in 'Kate and Leopold' Leopold was telling Charlie what the different flowers meant, you know - friendship, love . . .hate - I don't think you'd like to give Joon a "hate" flower, do you!" Ruthy said with a small laugh. Sam shook his head fearfully. "Arg! I'm sorry Sam, I can't remember. Um well, I'd probably stay away from pink carnations, so how about some daisies? They're nice happy flowers!" Ruthy suggested with a shrug.

Sam was about to tell Ruthy of the trouble he had at the park with the evil daisy, but stopped, remembering the bright, sunny smile Joon had wore that day; the sweet laughter which had escaped her lips. "Yes" he said slowly "maybe it might make Joon remember the better times we've had! Thanks Ruthy!" Sam pulled out his pocket watch and flipped it open.  
1:45pm.  
OK, this was it - time to face the music . . .

* * *

Wow, is it just me - or did like NOTHING happened in this chapter?! lol - but the NEXT chapter, well, hopefully that's where the REAL action comes in (well, not action literally, but hopefully something which resolves or adds to the plot (or LACK of . . .) Ooh only 65 days until Once Upon A Time In Mexico comes out on dvd! - I am SOOO jealous of all those lucky American and others who've already GOT OUATIM - about a million years ago! *sigh* Well, hopefully my next chapter will be better - if anyone is still reading it! Thanks again everyone who reads and REVIEWS (wink-wink) my story!!! You all rock!


	13. The Confrontation Vol 1

Hey everyone! Oh my goodness, I just came back from "KILL BILL Vol.2" it was so incredibly cool/awesome/splendiferous!!! Aww, Quentin Tarantino kicks ass! And Robert Rodriguez - my absolute hero composed the music!!! Can't wait to see Volumes one and two together! How awesome!!!

Oh yeah - Disclaimer - I do not own the delectable Mr. Depp, nor the spiffy/spunky characters he plays in his totally awesome movies. *quadruple sigh*

Also - if anyone cares, I have decided to start a Secret Window fic (knudge-knudge), although I'm starting to think I should have done a Don Juan one after all . . . Ah well, always next time.

Oh, and guess what, I got (fairly) decent marks in my half yearlys!!! My best being Maths (!) who would've thought? Martinis, Jack cookies and Sam's hat ALL AROUND!!!

Sorry, I was just really happy! OK, back to the story - this part in the story is supposed to be kinda the climax of the story - hope it's not too much of a ANTI-climax!!! If it is, I well and truly apologize! Oooh, I just realised this is chapter 13 . . . (audience) *ooooh* the evil number 13, hope its not full of bad luck . . .*gulp* Here goes nothing . . .

* * *

As Sam and Ruthy finally reached the edge of the park, Sam's knees began to buckle. '_The pressure. I can't stand the pressure!!!_' Ruthy turned to Sam, sensing Sam's frantic anxiety. She grabbed his shoulder and turned him towards her. Sam gazed down at the ground, trembling slightly.  
_'My God! Poor thing. He's an absolute wreck! Pale, tearful and shaking'. _Cupping his chin lightly in her hand, she tilted his head so she could make eye  
contact. Blinking away tears, he looked at her pleadingly "Ruthy, I don't think I can do this. What if Joon won't forgive me, and she never wants to see me ever again?!" Ruthy smiled reassuringly "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think she might be angrier at me . . ."  
Ruthy then held Sam in a brief, but tender embrace. She stroked his back affectionately, while whispering into his ear "everything will be all right". Sam closed his eyes and leaned his head softly on her shoulder. And for a moment, he felt contentment, as if everything would be just rainbows and lollipops. The moment was shattered as the church bells rang from across the street.

2 o'clock.

Sam stood up straight and smiled appreciatively at Ruthy. "Thank you" he whispered quietly. Ruthy gently kissed him on the cheek, shaking her head "I honestly don't deserve your thanks" she replied, as sadness filled her expression.

* * *

Joon had arrived at the park at around 1:30pm, and had been sitting on the same bench ever since. She checked her watch 1:55pm. Hmmm, only a couple of minutes to go. '_Just think' _the voice in her head began _'Sam'll be able to explain . . . somehow, what has happened . . . ALL THOSE TIMES, and you'll be able to forgive him, and "make up" if you know what I mean . . . If not, you could always just pick up someone on the way home . . .'_ Geez! The voice in her head was sure a dirty little tramp! "Shut up! It's none of your bloody business!!!" she yelled at the voice. But she couldn't deny it, she HAD missed Sam...

Deciding to see if Sam had happened to come a little early, she eased off the bench and wandered towards the edge of the park. Joon paused with a small gasp and dropped to the ground, crouching behind a bush. Sam! But not JUST Sam. Sam's back was to her, but she could clearly see . . . "Ruthy - that two timing...!" she breathed with abhorrence. They were talking, but she couldn't quite hear what they were . . . what the?!  
_'Oh my God_!' she whispered in astonishment. She watched as Ruthy's arms snaked around the man she loved, trapping him in her venomous embrace. Maybe it's not Sam's fault after all - maybe all this is RUTHY'S fault!! Putting him under her evil spell. What about Benny? He wasn't THAT bad, was he? But hey, Sam is one of the most incredibly sweet, charming, handsome . . . _Yes. That's got to be it!'_

Joon was about to get up, when the worst possible thing happened - well, second worst thing, if you count finding Sam trouser-less in Ruthy's apartment - she KISSED him. That bitch is kissing my sweet, innocent Sam!!! '_Why don't you go and screw him RIGHT in FRONT of me next time? Huh?!_' This was well and truly the final straw. Time to end this thing once and for all . . .

* * *

Sam raised a hand to shield his eyes from the glaring sun as he scanned for Joon's familiar face. "Where could she - " Sam was cut off by the appearance of Joon. Boy, did she look cranky! Sam smiled sweetly as Joon approached. Approached isn't quite the word to describe it. More like STORMED towards them.

"Uh hi, uh Joon?" Sam called out uncertainly. Joon paused as Sam held out a bunch of daisies. _'Aww, that proves Sam is sincere. It MUST be Ruthy's fault!_' Joon looked at Sam lovingly, taking the daisies with warm gratitude. She planted a small teasing kiss on those sweet lips of his. Sam grinned, and sighed with relief _'whew, maybe I'll have a chance after all..._'

Sam beckoned Joon towards a nearby stone wall, leaning the picnic basket on top "I made us all some sandwiches and stuff, so we can have a picnic. And I can explain everything!" Ruthy stepped forward "Hi Joon, are you all right?" she asked in a concerned voice.  
Joon just stared.  
"Boy, ah . . . you could really cut through this tension with knife, huh" Sam said with a small laugh.

Joon set the flowers on the wall, and removed her jacket. Sam and Ruthy watched in wonderment as Joon began to crack her knuckles. "Ah, Joon?" Ruthy started. Joon narrowed her eyes at Ruthy "This is all your fault bitch! You have Benny, what do you need Sam for?!" Sam and Ruthy exchanged confused looks. "Look Joon, I don't know what you think is going on, but I can assure you that -"  
"I don't want YOU to assure me anything! Lets just settle this!" Joon rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Sam's eyes widened, _'what's going on? This wasn't going to escalate into some gargantuan fight - two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound? . . . Well, probably not, but it could lead to a saucy little cat fight like in "Kill Bill"! All this over little old me?' _Flattered, Sam grinned to himself, but quickly shook his head and leapt between the two women, holding is hands up.

"Honestly, all this is just a HUGE misunderstanding, why don't we all sit down and have honey and asparagus sandwiches and talk this over -" Sam reasoned - uneventfully. "Cool it Sugarbutt." Joon replied coolly. Ruthy, realising Joon had finally snapped like a twig, rolled up her sleeves and cracked her neck. Worried, Sam backed away as the two faced off "Bring it ON BITCH!!" Joon shouted. "Let's play" Ruthy replied with a sly grin . . .

* * *

Hehehe, I'm evil! Yeah, you actually thought I was going to write something substantial? Nope, I'm stretchin' this for ALL it's worth! Nah I think It would have been too long otherwise - and yes i know its

OK, did everyone pick up the not-so subtle POTC, Once Upon A Time In Mexico and Desperado references? Thought so.

You all know what to do *points at review button*. Thanks again readers!


	14. The Confrontation Vol 2

Howdy doody everyone! Hehehe I can't believe I'm still writing this, it was only meant to be 7 chapters - one chapter for each day in my story. Oh well. It's too fun to write! Thanks so much to everyone who read/reviewed my story so far! - (keep on doin' it - I DARE ya!)

Hey cool - there's now some kind of edit thing before you post, I can FINALLY use italics!! Yay! (sorry - random)

OK, here it is - . . .

* * *

Sam, knowing he was totally powerless to stop the only two women in his life from tearing each other apart, sighed and sat on the cold stone wall and pulled out a sandwich. Sam watched anxiously, munching thoughtfully on the sandwich, as Ruthy and Joon moved around in slow, deliberate circles, not daring to break eye contact. "So, what are you waiting for?" Ruthy asked arching an eyebrow at Joon. "Are you sure this is the way it has to be done? You know, a SANE person would want to hear the explanation before resorting to violence" Ruthy drawled. "Well, I always was a - shoot first, ask questions later kind of gal" Joon sneered back. Sam couldn't bear to watch. He tossed the half eaten sandwich on the ground, and covered his eyes. '_Ahhh, what am I going to do?!' _Sam pondered desperately _'I can't let anything happen to Joon, OR Ruthy!'_

Sam sneaked a peek though his fingers and saw they were still circling, sneering at each other. "You know something? I can't stand this! We are NOT enemies Joon. We're FRIENDS! F-R-I-E-N-D-S! Why are we DOING this?!" Ruthy demanded. Joon paused. "Friends? Before, you mentioned explanations. How do you explain YOU kissing, and embracing Sam?" Joon demanded. Ruthy stammered something-or-other trying to find an explanation on the spot ."It's not what you think -" she replied weakly before Joon cut her off "It's not what I think, ay?" Joon repeated bitterly, tears forming in her eyes "Well, I know what I saw, you two-timing BITCH!!!"

Without warning, Joon leapt at Ruthy, hands (and nails) outstretched. Ruthy fell backwards, the wind knocked out of her, as Joon tackled her to the ground. Ruthy could see red flames of jealousy and rage at the back of Joon's usually docile eyes. Sam watched in horror as the two scratched, slapped and rolled around on the grass; wincing especially as Joon tore at Ruthy's hair. "Ahhh" Ruthy screeched in pain, responding by flicking Joon's bra strap. "Ouch! No fair!"  
A small gathering of park-goers congregated around in a circle. A few younger ones rooted and shouted for whom they wanted to win. Sam started to get up, but realized that if he jumped in the rampaging fight (which was a pretty stupid sounding plan to begin with) he would no doubt get beaten up quite badly, and not really accomplish anything anyway. Plus, he had forgotten the band aids. Sam paused, then quickly sat back down and started biting his nails tensely. Egged on from the surrounding crowd, Joon felt energized, ready to kill Bill . . .er, beat the crap out of Ruthy . . . "Want to play dirty, do ya? Well, here you go!" Ruthy shrieked as she was pinned face down in the mud. "Mmmime mmmona mmmet mmmmou!!!" Ruthy spat. Joon paused to let Ruthy pull her face out of the mud. "What?" Joon inquired "I couldn't quite hear you there, dearie!" Joon replied sardonically. Ruthy simply roared, tackling Joon to the ground. Together they continued to bite, scratch, and slap as they rolled back and forth in the muddy patch of ground. '_This would be pretty damn hot, if they weren't trying to kill each other and all' _Sam couldn't help thinking. What was he thinking?! These weren't Sam thoughts..._'Someone's spiked the asparagus!!! Must be . . . Or maybe they're a little off -' _Sam's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he toppled off the wall onto the ground with a thud.

The fight paused.  
"SAM!" the pair cried out in unison. Immediately forgetting the massive cat fight - which had been raging a good 10 minutes, they both rushed over to Sam's aid. Joon kneeled down and placed Sam's head on her muddy lap "Sam, sweetie, it's all right. We're not fighting anymore. Are you all right?" Joon cried. Ruthy crouched down in front of Sam and eased open his eyes - examining his pupils, then felt his wrist for his pulse, leaning in close. "Hmmm, I'd say a slight case of asparagus goneoffiss. As well as severe stress. Wonder what could have caused that?" Joon shook her head "I told him not to eat that stuff! It went out of date 2 years ago. I've been meaning to clean the fridge out . . ." Joon blushed, smiling sheepishly. Ruthy got  
up and went to the picnic basket, pulling out a bottle of water. "Here, give him some of this" Ruthy instructed, handing Joon the bottle. Joon carefully opened the water, cautious not to spill any . . . that is, before she decided to pour the entire bottle over his head. Sam awoke with a splutter, eyes blinking rapidly "What the?" Sam groaned softly as he sat up, gingerly rubbing his head. "What happened? Is it over?" He asked in a small voice. Joon and Ruthy looked at each other, and smiled. "Yeah, I think it is." Ruthy replied, as Joon gave Sam her hand.

Once he was standing, Sam shook his head like a wet dog, immediately splattering Joon and Ruthy with excess water. While Sam was fussing over the picnic basket, Joon crept over to Ruthy, whispering in her ear "I will find out what's been going on". Joon was slightly put off when Ruthy turned to her, smiling - not a mocking smile, but a genuine one "Yes . . . you will."

* * *

Hmmm I'm going to really miss writing this story when its done! Ah Benny and Joon - such a great film! *sigh*

Hey, how did every like my asparagus gone-off-iss illness? Oh well, this is my universe, I can invent new ailments . . .right?

"What the?" - my salute to Rove: Live. That show is tooo funny!!!

I wouldn't expect many of you to read my other (sorry attempt of a) story. But I set a Johnny Depp in drag poll, and was curious to know people's opinions. You don't have to read the story, but maybe you could just check out the top of chapter 2. Ta!


	15. In Dreams

Howdy everyone!

Disclaimer: same old thing as last time. (oh, if (for some reason) anyone here reads my Secret Window story - don't expect any updates soon, I don't actually have a plot yet. Oops!)

Sorry its taken a while, but you know - school, homework, watching television . . . Ooooh, there have been so many cool films coming out lately - Troy, The Day After Tomorrow (Jake Gyllehaal - me-ow!) Van Helsing (Dracula, Hugh . . .sigh Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!!!) (lol) and Harry Potter and the Prisoner Of Azkaban comes out in less than two weeks!! Yay!!!

Thanks all who have been kind enough to read/review my story!

A big plate of Jack cookies go to my great friend Lady Aragorn who has finally updated her wonderful Harry Potter story - after what seemed to be 2 million years!

OK, on with the show . . .

* * *

Well, after the incident in the park, things seemed to go back to normal. Joon was still suspicious of course, but decided to let things go . . . for now. But still, something had been nagging her from the back of her mind. What exactly had Ruthy meant when she said 'Yes . . . you will.' . . . Joon shook her head, she had plenty of other things to do than worry about that! Plus, she had to take care of Sam, who hadn't been feeling well.

"Do you want to watch "Gone With The Wind" now?" Joon asked sympathetically while handing Sam a steaming bowl of chicken, orange and paprika soup. Sam nodded shyly as he picked up the soup spoon, smiling weakly. "Thanks Joon" he replied graciously, if somewhat worriedly at the additions to his chicken soup. Joon crouched down in front of him, feeling his forehead. "Aw, my poor Sam" Joon sighed, shaking her head.

Sam still, of course, felt incredibly guilty over everything that he had put Joon through over the past two weeks. He had not even given her a simple explanation. He didn't deserve her sympathy, her love . . . or the scary tasting soup. Before he could feel any more sorry for himself, Scarlet O'Hara appeared on screen. Ah . . .

Joon couldn't concentrate on the film. Not just because Sam kept quoting along during the WHOLE movie, but because she continually asked herself _'what had Ruthy meant'?! 'You know' _the voice in her head began _'there are ways of finding out - '_ "No, I'm through with the snooping! I'm not freaking Sherlock Holmes you know " Joon snapped at the voice in her head. _'You don't say' _the voice sniggered _'you certainly caused a fine scene last time.'  
_Joon paused. For once, the voice was right. Joon began to inwardly blush. She didn't know what had come over herself. She didn't fight people. Sure, she liked to burn things, and argue. Especially argue - but physically fight?

"After all, tomorrow is another day" Sam cried dramatically along with Vivian Leigh. Joon turned to Sam, who had a big goofy grin on his face. "You know, I think this is one of my all time favourite movies . . ." Sam paused, "Uh, actually, I'd better just say its one of my favourite films from the 1930's." Sam frowned for a second, then grinned once again, nodding in satisfaction. Although Sam had been quoting along with the film, the blank expression on Joon's face hadn't escaped him completely. He knew something was up. He also knew, he was probably the cause of it.

That night, Sam awoke to hear Joon sobbing softly in her sleep. "Sam" she whispered, before beginning to weep in her sleep. What was she dreaming about? Whatever it is, it had something to do with him. And it wasn't good.

At around midnight, Sam slid out of bed and softly padded towards the window. He carefully sat on the sill cross-legged and gazed out at the moon. The light through the window illuminated the handsome features of Sam's face, his unkempt hair appeared to glow from the dazzling moonlight. _'Boy, the moon is sure bright tonight. Hmmm, I wonder if it IS made out of cheese_?' Sam pondered in silent wonderment. For the next hour or two, Sam simply sat there, staring out at that big, bright moon. _'What would it have been like for Joon, if we had never met? Would she have been happier_?' Sam couldn't help thinking. He knew he had put her through a lot, but there was just cause. But that didn't always matter. Sometimes, you unintentionally hurt the ones you love. Sam pondered profound thoughts for a long time, weighing up the pros and cons. Finally, Sam turned and gazed adoringly at the love of his life. She deserved better. Much better. Blinking away the tears, Sam knew what he had to do.

Joon stretched her arms sleepily. What a horrid nightmare. She had dreamt of the night her parents died, and then followed that nightmare with one where her sweet Sam had left her. How ridiculous. Eyes still closed, a smile upon her lips, Joon rolled over to put an arm around Sam.  
The smile faded. Her eyes flicked open. "Sam?" she cried out softly.  
No reply.  
She bolted upright. "Sam?" she called out, louder this time. Joon dashed down the stairs, searching all the rooms. Desperation was beginning to set in. She ran back upstairs to their room, flinging the doors to the wardrobe open. A scream erupted from her lips. Sam's things were gone. Shirts, trousers, his hat and cane. All gone!  
Joon rubbed her temples, head shaking, rocking back and forth. This can't be happening, this can't be happening. _'Finally sent him packin' huh?' _The voice inquired cruelly _'Can't say I'm surprised, only . . . that he didn't leave sooner!_' Joon struck a thought, throwing on her dressing gown, as she ran towards Ruthy's apartment.  
Ruthy, who could hear Joon racing down the stairs, opened her door before Joon had a chance to knock. "Is-he-here?" Joon asked rapidly, poking her head through the doorway. Ruthy placed a sympathetic hand on Joon's shoulder. "I told him not to go, pleaded with him. But he thought it was for the best. He wouldn't listen" Joon simply stared at Ruthy with red rimed eyes. "What?" she whispered. Ruthy pulled an envelope from her pocket, handing it to Joon. "He told me to give you this".

Joon took the envelope tightly, thanked Ruthy and walked slowly back to the apartment. Once inside, she sat down at the table and opened the envelope. A letter, which read:

_Deerest Joon, __  
i m so sorry fore wat I have put you thru. I never ment to hurt you.  
I am catching the next train home, I think its fore the best.  
You deserv so much beter than me.  
I will love you always  
Sam._

Joon stared at the letter in disbelief. He was really gone. Of all the days to leave . . . Joon checked her watch - no time to lose! She raced upstairs, threw on a summer dress and dashed out the door in the direction of the train station. She only hoped it wasn't too late!

* * *

Was that a cliff hanger? I'm not quite sure. Hope it was.

Thanks again everyone for reading my story - you guys are fantabulous!


	16. Their Casablanca moment

Disclaimer - All I own is the dodgy plot - unfortunately, I don't own Sam. But I certainly wouldn't mind getting him for my upcoming birthday wink- wink . . . Sigh

Well, hi everyone! Sorry, I've been pretty slack with the updating - but well, I seem to get a LOT of homework.

Today I just saw "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" for the 2nd time - it is SOOOOO BLOODY BRILLIANT!!! It's EVEN BETTER the 2d time - Aww, so splendiferous! Harry friends, Professor Lupin and Sirius Black are just wonderfully great! double sigh. Sorry for the gushing, I get a little caught up sometimes . . . OK, ALL the time.

Here it is - the 2nd last chapter . . .

* * *

Joon ran. She ran until her veins pumped battery acid. She checked her watch as she ran, _I'm pretty sure that the train won't be there just yet_. . . Joon didn't want to even consider the possibility that her beloved Sam could already be aboard that train. The journey to the train station was like a giant obstacle course - fruit stand here, car there, circus elephants everywhere!

But finally - she was there. The station was unnaturally quiet - well, besides the Fred Astaire music playing softly from the loudspeakers (to keep pesky teenage hooligans away). Only the lone ticket seller in his navy uniform could be seen. Phew_, no train in sight. Hmmm, is that a good thing?  
_Not even pausing to catch her breath, Joon began to look around the seemingly deserted train station. Joon stopped suddenly, spotting Sam. Joon's  
breath caught in her throat.  
It was as if she was seeing Sam for the first time. Unmistakably handsome and whimsical in appearance and nature. Joon was about to dash towards her sweet Sam, but paused to consider well, he did leave. _Why would he want to come back - back to a poor crazy girl like me? _Instead, she ducked behind a vending machine to collect herself.

Sam was sprawled on the lime green station bench, cane resting across his legs, his luggage bag propped against the faded brick wall. Sam had taken his sweet time getting to the train station. He was in no rush to leave Joon, the love of his life. But he did what was needed to be done. This was merely a single component in the grand scheme of things. Or so he thought. Sam was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to see Joon again, when he casually turned his head to catch a familiar glimpse of shimmering hair. _Could it possibly be?_ Sam shook his head and looked again. _Nope, its gone_. Sam's shoulders slumped. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and sighed, withdrawing his faithful old pocket watch, flipping it open. _Hmmm, things aren't looking so good_. Gingerly, he clicked it shut and placed it back in is pocket and stood up. Sam was in a pacing mood.  
He stuck his cane upright between the grooves of the bench, and for the next 5 minutes, paced back and forth, and back . . .and forth, until Joon finally emerged from behind the machine.

So this was it then, the grand showdown - or bittersweet reunion between two oddities in love.

Sam stopped dead in his tracks as Joon shuffled timidly from behind the machine. The pair were separated by several metres. For a moment, they just stood there. Joon took several small steps forward and stopped. Sam felt the strangest sensation inside his stomach, not just the usual butterflies, but full-on humming birds - ready to flutter Sam right on up to that cheesy old moon in the sky. Sam's eyes had immediately lighted up at the first sight of Joon. He moved several paces forward and also stopped. Joon's eyes began to gloss over, with the hint of tears threatening to erupt at any second, again advanced a further few steps - the gap between them slowly closing. Sam's lips began to spread into a slight smile. Sam, taking a deep breath, paced determinedly towards Joon until they were only inches apart. Without breaking eye contact, Sam whipped off his hat and tossed it at the bench, landing neatly on his cane like a hat rack.

Joon looked away and gazed down at the ground, not quite sure what to say. Sam gently placed his hand on Joon's face, lightly caressing her cheek, wiping the tears away. Carefully, he cradled Joon's chin, tilting her head upward. Joon gazed into Sam's eyes, a sad smile on her lips. "I, I thought I lost you." Joon managed to whisper. A pang of guilt hit Sam like icy water. He smoothed back a wisp of unkempt hair from her face.  
"It's all right. No more secrets" he whispered softly in her ear. Joon's tears now flowed freely as she threw her arms around Sam in a tender embrace, she never wanted to let go.

As Fred Astaire's rendition of George Gershwin's "You Can't Take That Away From Me" came over the loudspeaker, Sam took a step back and held out a hand "would you care to dance?" he asked playfully.  
"I, I don't really know how" Joon replied blushing. Sam smiled back confidently, "Well, I'll just have to teach you then." Joon smiled shyly and took his hand. Sam held one hand, and gently placed the other around Joon's waist, leading her in a slow waltz. Sam gently stroked Joon's hair as she lent her head upon his shoulder. After a moment, Joon lifted her head, whispering "If I've done anything to make you -", Sam placed a finger to her lips to silence her. "Shh".

Lowering his head, Sam closed his eyes and captured Joon's mouth in a sweet and passionate kiss.

Steam formed from the ancient train as it rolled languidly into the station, creating a perfect golden Hollywood moment - Casablanca style - two lovers in a tender embrace at a fog shrouded train station. Only, Sam was a little too occupied to notice. Their intimate moment was broken by the shrill train whistle.

Gazing into his face with glimmering eyes, Joon stepped back and so did he. Broad smiles on both their faces. Joon sniffed slightly. Sam gentlemanly handed Joon a handkerchief - as well as one for himself. Blowing his nose noisily, Joon burst into soft laughter. "Let's go home" she said, holding out an outstretched hand. He went back to the bench, retrieving his hat and cane, then strolled over to the wall to collect his suitcase. Grinning, he tipped his head to the side, once more kissing Joon's check before leaving the station hand-in-hand.

* * *

Sigh If I ever found a guy like Sam, I would be the luckiest girl on earth. I wonder if fella really exists?

Thanks again everyone!


	17. The final surprise: aka Sam's magical W...

Disclaimer - same as last time folks!

Howdy everybody! Hey - Johnny won an Mtv award! Jack cookies and (legal) martinis all around - mit me kids - I've finally turned 18! Woo hoo!  
- And I got my learner's license - took me long enough - am I right L.A?

I've seen - _King Arthur _- which was really cool - I'm a big Ioan Gruffudd fan - and FINALLY got to see him on the BIG screen! _Shrek 2 _and _Spiderman 2_were also brilliant - character development - nice.

Well, we're finally here - the last chapter. I've had heaps of fun writing this - and I sincerely hope you've liked it (even if only a little).

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The pair strolled home in perfect, comfortable silence, only occasionally stopping to gaze adoringly at each other. Just a short distance from their apartment, Sam halted. "What's the matter?" Joon asked with concern. Sam pointed at a tiny pink and gray bundle of feathers in the gutter. Joon scratched her head "Wonder what it is? - and don't say 'bird' - that much is obvious." Sam withdrew a large checked handkerchief from his pocket and wrapped it around the bird gently. He lifted the bird for closer inspection. "Hey - its a galah! Wow, your a long way from home little fella!"Joon quirked a suspicious brow "how did you know that? And since when have you been a bird expert? . . . And how do you know where it's from?" Joon inquired rapidly. Sam simply shrugged and replied matter-of-factly "its from Australia - Discovery Channel" Joon paused a second, then nodded.  
The bird hadn't been badly hurt - but was thoroughly shaken up. "You're a cute little guy, aren't you?!" Sam cooed affectionately. The bird replied by biting his finger. "Ouch!" Sam yelped, shaking his finger. "Feisty too" Joon added with a slight smile. Sam attempted to calm the bird down. "Come on, I won't hurt you! Truce?" The bird appeared to become docile as Sam and Joon stroked its head gently. "We can keep him for a little while, can't we - even if its just till he gets better?" Sam asked pleadingly with those puppy dog eyes of his. Joon paused for a second before nodding in agreement.  
"Jolly good!" Sam cried enthusiastically.

As a short detour, the three of them headed towards a nearby bench to figure out a name for the little bird. "OK. What should we call you? How about Rudolph...or Valentino?!" Sam suggested hopefully. The bird gave a loud, annoyed squawk of disapproval. After a few well pondered minutes - Joon had it "Well, if he's from Australia - why don't we name him after a famous Australian? Like Percy - Percy Grainger?" Sam stared back blankly. "You know the composer? There was a Richard Roxburgh film about him a few weeks back . . ." A flashing light bulb went off in Sam's head "Oh yeah, I remember. So, what do you think of that little guy?" The bird bobbed its head in a sure-why-not gesture and croaked "well that's just peachy mate" and rested back down in the cozy handkerchief. "Well what do you know! I think he likes it. Although its somewhat creepy that he understood what we said . . ."

***

The three finally started back home. When they reached the front door, a sinking feeling plagued Joon - she left in such a rush - she had forgotten to lock the door . . . and there was a small gap too . . . panic set in. Sam, clearly noticing the distress on her face smiled reassuringly "I'm sure its nothing. Lets just go in, all right?" Joon nodded and nudged the door open.  
Well, everything seemed to still be there, until...

"**SURPRISE**!!!" the lights flickered on to reveal all her friends leaping from behind the furniture. Joon simply stood there - dumbfounded, as she was showered with rainbow coloured confetti. Ruthy came forward with a gargantuan multi-layered birthday cake, inscribed with 'happy birthday dearest  
Joon'.  
Joon wiped away a tear as Benny rushed forward ad handed Joon a large box with a purple ribbon. "Happy birthday Joon." he grinned, kissing her on the cheek. Joon hugged and thanked her guests as they filed forward with gifts and congratulations. Sam, meanwhile, had gone and found an old shoe box for Percy and lined it with socks and material, and was feeding him bread.

The party lasted the whole day, Ruthy and Benny were the last to leave, each hugging Joon one last time before departing. "Gosh I missed you Juniper!" Benny whispered, squeezing her "it was mighty nice of Ruthy and Sam to organize all this, huh? They even organized for my plane and everything so I'd be here in time. Because I could never miss my favorite sister's birthday!" Joon grinned "Yes Benjamin, especially since I'm you're ONLY sister!" Benny poked his tongue at her "So, did anything interesting happen these past two weeks?" Benny inquired, collecting his coat.  
Joon threw knowing glances at Ruthy, then to Sam "nah, not really".  
The three started to laugh. Benny, rather confused joined in just for the hell of it.

"Tell me how it goes!" Ruthy whispered to Joon. Joon stared back blankly '_tell you how what goes_? she wondered silently - a question soon to be answered.

Now, it was just Sam and Joon. Sam, stood shyly at the door. "Sam - all this time - the "thing" with you and Ruthy - it was planning . . . this. Wasn't it?" Sam nodded. Joon, flopped exhaustedly on the couch, beckoning him over. "Deep down - I knew you and Ruthy weren't . . . you know. But . . . hey - wait! - What about that time I caught you sans trousers in her apartment? That looked pretty suss - you've got to admit." She arched an eyebrow as Sam blushed sheepishly "I kinda spilt really hot coffee on my lap. REALLY hot' he added. Joon leaned back, satisfied.

Sam pulled out his pocket watch, frowning slightly "hmm, I think it's about time I gave you my present". Sam, who had just a few moments put o his "Wonka" top hat, gingerly removed it from his head, showed her the contents - nil, then replaced it on his head. Next, he pulled out a cherry red kazoo from his pocket, played a few bars of the Harry Potter theme song, tapped the kazoo on his hat twice and knelt down by Joon's side - who had become increasingly interested in what on earth Sam was doing. Holding out his index finger for a moment of pause, he reached deeply into his top hat and handed Joon a flat parcel and a lilac envelope. Joon beamed with curious delight as she inquisitively tore open the sunflower yellow wrapping paper. A tiny gasp of delight left her lips, for inside was the most beautiful collage of photographs she had ever seen - all of her and Sam's best and memorable moments together. At the top of the exquisite frame was a small red heart, embossed with "_Sam loves Joon".  
_"Oh I love it!" Joon cried, throwing her arms around Sam. "Don't forget the card" Sam pointed out. Joon smiled back warmly as she opened the envelope. The card was handmade with swirls of purple and blue decorating the front, reminiscent of the first time Joon "painted" with Sam - just using their fingers, sensually sliding around the cool, oozing paint. The message inside was as sweet as expected (and with perfect spelling too! - no doubt with a little help from Ruthy):

_"Dearest Joon,_

My love for you is greater than the oceans and the sea,  
I find that when I'm with you, I'm the happiest I could be.  
With all the strife I've caused you, I'm surprised that you're still here,  
'cause if I ever lost you - may I be trampled down by deer!

So here's a simple birthday wish, with love from me to you,  
Buster gives his best regards, and Fred and Ginger too!

Happy birthday Joon!

Love always_  
Sam XXOO"  
_  
Joon had never read anything so sweet and perfect in all her life. Joon couldn't believe what a moron she was to ever have doubted Sam, that he would ever do anything to hurt her.  
Just as Joon was about to kiss Sam, she noticed there was still something in the envelope. "What's this?" Joon thought out loud, holding the envelope upside down. Two strips of cardboard tumbled out. Joon slowly picked them up and examined them closely . . . and screamed.  
In the meantime, Sam had been nervously biting his nails and had almost bitten off his finger when Joon screamed. "No way!" Joon shook her head in disbelief, "are these, - they're real - aren't they?" Sam nodded. "But . . . how?!" Joon demanded, attempting to contain her excitement.  
"You know -its funny, I've never won anything - before now. I think you must be my lucky charm! - now you know why I was watching that doco!  
I know you've never had the opportunity to do something like this before, so I -"  
Joon cut Sam off with a long and passionate kiss. "Thank you" she whispered "this is the most marvelous surprise ever!"  
Sam blushed, but managed to say "well, I guess we better get packin' - we're off to sunny Australia - the land down under!"

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Well, that's it everyone - thanks so much for your time, and all the kind reviews!

Farewell fellow fanfictioners, until next time . . .


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